Is my marriage at risk because of social networking? - How can social sites affect a relationship

I believe that if you mix the right ingredients at exactly the right time, anything could become too tempting to handle. We are always exposed to “other” people, unless we work from our home and/or are agoraphobic (afraid of open spaces surrounded by people) and we simply avoid going out at all, we are always exposed to meeting people. On a bus, on the street walking, in the market, in the laundry, etc, we will always be in constant contact with other people. And there are always going to be opportunities if we were to look for them. Social networking is no different from going to activities or walking on a street, obviously these sites offer more options for those lacking interpersonal skills, for anonymity is always a tempting excuse to talk to others without compromising a visible rejection. It is a different kind of interaction; some may lack verbal skills yet have writing ones, for these as well as for the extremely shy, a messenger is an excellent source for meeting new people.

But regardless of how we actually meet people, what really matters is how we stand in our relationship, how compromised with the other person we are and how compromised with ourselves in that relationship we are as well.

If our relationship stands strong, tight, full of love, compassion, and we feel engaged emotionally, mentally and physically the place where we meet another stranger makes no difference  because our mindset is with that person and the structured life with them. Social networking can be a fun outlet to be enjoyed by both, together we can remembrance our past  and the people in it, like co-workers even ex-lovers and just laugh and embrace each other while learning things from each other’s life. It is of utmost importance that our past chapters are closed, really closed; past lovers forgiven, old flames extinguished and hold no resentments against those we consider our “ friends” . It is undeniably a liability to allow unfinished business from our past into these social pages, for it can backfire against us, and against our present relationship. These past nuisances must be worked elsewhere, however if we choose to take advantage of the inertia created by finding our past all together we must be clear about our intentions with these people are; to work it out, forgive, forget, heal, fight or rekindle an old flame, and we must be even clearer in how this will affect our current relationship with our partner and with ourselves.

If we are just bearing along another person who happens to be our wife or husband, we must surely find temptations wherever we go. If there is no respect, love or our relationship no longer stands strong with one another, opportunities will be more than available; ready. Sadly we are not always synchronized in feelings and or status with our partners and discover it in the most hurtful ways. We may feel completely happy and in love with the other person yet discover that they have met some “opportunity” on the net, but it could have been on the street, in the market or in the bank. What am I saying?

That yes social networking sites are a different way to “meet” (it all depends on our definition of meeting a person is) new people or rekindle old friendships (which come to think of it, how great could that friendships be if we need a social networking site to see them and come in contact with them once again!) they are a fun way to loose time (and a lot of it) but it doesn’t mean this has to affect your current relationship.

• Don’t invite or accept invitations of people that may affect your mental or emotional peace: past lovers, enemies, coworkers, anyone that left your life in a bad manner if it’s not to work in your favor, forgive, forget and move on.

• Don’t rely on the privacy of your social page settings, this can always be “hacked”, or information may always leak one way or another, if there is something you might not want some people to know, like an ex in your friend list, pictures or applications: DON’T POST THEM

• Be honest with your partner about your page, and have the maturity to allow them the necessary space to tell you about their page, remember it always cuts both ways. If you are allowed to have ex lovers among your list, so does your partner and as you demand trust, so you must give

• Be clear about what you want to achieve with your social networking page, fun, meeting people, networking among others; and be clear of the consequences of your purpose.

• Have fun and laugh, always laugh...